In Love With The Perfect Man

Yes, the title says it all. The truth is, I'm still falling for him, I may have hurt him but I would do and give up anything just to be with him again.
It's just so sad that I can't have you. You are perfect in so many ways. The way you handle me is with so much tenderness. You take care of me like I'm the most precious thing to your heart. And you make me laugh my ass off almost everytime we have a conversation. You are the most amazing and best thing that has ever happened to me. And I screwed that up. I will forever regret what I did to you but not what I did with you, my love. You are forever in my heart, mind and soul. You are inside of me. And I'm loving every minute of it. I love it that you're all I think about. I do not have time for any other man. They are just people who happen to be in my life. But you, you're a huge part me :)

I know I can't have you now. But I hope the next lucky girl you fall in love with treats you better and makes you happier than I've ever made you feel. I hope she's better than me. I bet she is. It will kill me to see you with another girl but that's just something I will have to learn to accept. I will make sure she's good for you in every way too. Don't worry, okay? If she's nothing like me, you'll be fine and happy with her.

I can't say that I don't deserve this, because I do. Even so, I still feel like I must make it up to you some more. I know I said to you that I don't need a man, I don't even want one. Truth is, I don't; not if he's not you. I sound really pathetic. I have been, the very moment you told me that we're better off as friends. I still want you to take care of me and call me sayang and stuff. But this is just something I have to face and accept all by myself because I deserve every second of this painful feeling.

Another man? No, thank you. I'm better off on my own, learning how to be more independant instead of just depending on you and others around me. So yeah, I don't even think about wanting another man besides you. I don't know how long this is gonna last but I have a big feeling that it's gonna last quite a long time.

Call me pathetic, but this is the consequences of falling in love and hurting the one who loves you. I hope those of you reading learns from my mistakes and I hope none of you hurt the person who loves you coz you'll never realise how much and how badly you really need and love that person. You will regret it your whole life, you have my word for it.

But I just want you to know that I realise everything that you have done for me and for us. Don't say or even think that I don't. I do every second of every day. I miss you even when you're sitting right next to me. I miss absolutely everything about you. Your gaze, your touch, your embrace, your warmth, your care and your love. Sucks so bad being me right now.

Oh well, I hope you are happiest without me right now. I will always love you, Nik Mohd Fadhil :')